tavugba zn v

image

crazy news for someone like me who hasn't even finished gta 4 and gta 5 (played 30 mins tops lol): we're old now, bro.
--spoiler--
i know vice city like the back of my hand
--spoiler--

image

working so hard for my boss, and so little for myself.

never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.
(see: mark twain)

this saying was told to me by my brigade commander, brigadier general atak. one day, following an incident, he had had an argument with a military personnel. when he summoned me, he was angry. normally, he was a very warm, calm, and knowledgeable person. he told me this saying, and i jotted it down at that moment. i realized then that he had said it solely for it to have an impact on my life — because he said nothing else to me. our meeting ended right after. thank you, commander; thanks to you, i stopped talking to — not just arguing with, but even speaking to — many stupid people."

i am not what happened to me, i am what i choose to become."
(see: carl gustav jung)

siamese cats are a breed originating from the siam region in thailand, southeast asia, where they were fed and regarded as sacred in holy temples. they take their name directly from siam. their most distinguishing features are a black face, ears, and paws, with the rest of the coat in white or cream tones, and typically striking bright blue eyes.

they are a short-haired breed. the long-haired variety is known as the balinese. all of these lines are pure and natural, and several other breeds stem from them: himalayan, oriental, tonkinese, balinese, and havana.

extremely friendly and playful, siamese rank high on the cat intelligence scale. their temperament is calm and affectionate, and they love to play.

their average lifespan is 8–15 years, with weights ranging from 2–8 kg.

traditional (or "applehead") siamese have long bodies and noses. the shorter-bodied, smaller-nosed type was developed later in america and is commonly referred to as the modern siamese.

they're my favorite cat breed: they chatter constantly, always demanding attention, yet they're incredibly smart and affectionate bundles of fur. one of their most curious traits is that their coat color darkens when it's cooler and lightens when it's warmer. in terms of feline intelligence, they're definitely in the top three—some individuals can astonish you with their cleverness.

it's the colloquial shorthand for renault cars—for example, "i'm driving a reno 5." the first car i drove was a renault fairway; it's a lightweight vehicle but has an incredibly stiff steering wheel because it had manual (non-assisted) steering.

midway through trump's second term, the 2026 us midterms gave him a serious reality check.

democrats took both the house of representatives and the senate, texas included (trump's stronghold). trump congratulated the democrats, blamed his own candidates, and posted on truth social that "i wasn't on the ballot." good lord, the man takes credit for every win and pins every loss on his candidates (man, this sounds familiar from somewhere).

since taking office, he has dragged america into multiple wars and spent tax revenue that should have gone to american citizens on war and on supporting the jews. as a result, fuel and energy prices went up, and his messy decisions pushed the country into an economic crisis. unemployment was already rising because of ai, and his own bad moves made the economy even worse. and it wasn't just the us: what he did affected many other countries too. yes, i think he's learned a good lesson from these elections.

in the feeble light of a candle,
in the reflection it leaves on the wall,
i see myself, blurred,
a faint, flickering silhouette.
who am i, i do not know,
who i am, i cannot see.
in the dark i could be anything,
but in the light, what could i be,
what might i not be, i do not know.
a lost soul,
a soul in a trembling light,
one day the candle will go out, and then?
one day the dawn will come, and what then?

from a distance it looks like a snow-white, fluffy monument to cuteness. get closer and it turns into a winged neighborhood thug that stretches its neck out parallel to the ground and charges at you hissing, a "come here, you" beast that calls all its goose buddies over in a heartbeat and marches on you as a gang. so yes, it looks cute from afar, but the goose's foot tells a different story.

its feathers really are beautiful, so soft. star of the duvet and the pillow, they were even pens once upon a time. but the owner of those feathers is nowhere near as soft. for a goose, "my territory" isn't a boundary, it's a philosophy of life. anyone who sets foot on its pond, its lawn, even the three square meters of dirt it happens to be standing on, is the enemy. that includes the hand that feeds it every day. a goose doesn't know gratitude, it knows title deeds. though if you're the one feeding it, it does know you and love you, because you're on its deed too. back when i kept geese, they even went after the dogs that barked at me. i like to think they were saying "excuse me, brother, you're barking at the guy who feeds us, our big bro, in our neighborhood?"

humanity caught on to this early. legend has it rome was saved from the gauls by the racket the geese made (see: capitoline geese). and today a prison in brazil has retired its dogs and put geese in their place. they patrol between the inner fence and the outer wall, and if anyone tries to escape they wake up the whole valley. on top of that, they're apparently cheaper than dogs and need no training. you don't have to teach a goose anything to make it a guard, it's born that way. and here's the other side of it: you can win a dog over with meat and bones, but a goose is different. even if you feed it, even if you two are close, bother it while it's walking its deed and it'll say "got a problem?" and claw your face. so you can't bribe it. the only things they're loyal to are their deed and their kin.

the best part is how the idea came about. the prison staff got cornered by an angry flock of geese during a barbecue and said "these guys could do the job." so the geese didn't get hired through an interview, they got hired through a raid.

whoever calls someone a "silly goose" has clearly never tried to share a lawn with one.

in short: love it from afar, take its picture, admire its feathers. but don't go near its pond. that pond is not yours.

calm
image

angry
image

whoever gave me the evil eye, i hope their eye pops out. i woke up one morning and the left and right sides of my face are working differently, my left ear is picking up every sound with a delay, and on top of that my left teeth and tonsil hurt. i'm watching tv and since the sound on the left side arrives late, i hear everything twice. may this never happen to anyone.

dude, i can't even be a little sad without you showing up right away to remind me you exist, you little rascal. whenever i'm down, you're the only one who checks in on me — just to make sure i feel worse. gotta hand it to you

i'm exhausted, in body and in mind. to silence my mind, i push my body under heavy weights until it shakes. my knees ache, my muscles burn, my breath gives out, but i keep pushing, trembling. every now and then, mid-push, my vision goes dark, and when i come to, the weight is already up and my mind has gone quiet...

it takes me five minutes to come back to myself, and in those five minutes i wipe away the sweat stinging my eyes and dry the wetness from my hair.

and again.

change, and changing. aren't they beautiful words? they say a person changes even when standing still, even if they don't want to. even if you don't change yourself, everything around you does. your friends get married, move to other countries and cities, go to prison, or die. in your neighborhood, buildings change owners, old ones get torn down and new ones go up, roads get rerouted, and the shops you always went to change hands or go bankrupt. whatever, you get the idea. somehow, even if you don't change, everything around you does, so you end up out of place and out of step with it all. you yourself haven't changed.

for years i've been looking out the same window, of the same house, in the same neighborhood, and i haven't changed. but i've lived through all of the above. and i ask myself: why haven't i changed, after all that? i still put on my slayer sweatshirt and go work out in the park. the park has changed too, and even its paving stones have been replaced. but i'm so used to my old route that i walk across the grass and keep my own path alive. if you'd come by ten years ago, you'd have found me exactly the same. come to think of it, that slayer sweatshirt has held up pretty well too...

but i want to change. i just don't know where to start.