tavugba zn v

change, and changing. aren't they beautiful words? they say a person changes even when standing still, even if they don't want to. even if you don't change yourself, everything around you does. your friends get married, move to other countries and cities, go to prison, or die. in your neighborhood, buildings change owners, old ones get torn down and new ones go up, roads get rerouted, and the shops you always went to change hands or go bankrupt. whatever, you get the idea. somehow, even if you don't change, everything around you does, so you end up out of place and out of step with it all. you yourself haven't changed.

for years i've been looking out the same window, of the same house, in the same neighborhood, and i haven't changed. but i've lived through all of the above. and i ask myself: why haven't i changed, after all that? i still put on my slayer sweatshirt and go work out in the park. the park has changed too, and even its paving stones have been replaced. but i'm so used to my old route that i walk across the grass and keep my own path alive. if you'd come by ten years ago, you'd have found me exactly the same. come to think of it, that slayer sweatshirt has held up pretty well too...

but i want to change. i just don't know where to start.