what really runs a relationship is the fear in it. whoever is more afraid of losing something, the relationship takes shape around their fear. the one who's afraid of being alone constantly gives in. the one who's afraid of being abandoned constantly controls. the one who's afraid of being seen as inadequate constantly proves themselves. two people's fears determine the entire dynamic between them. that's why if you want to understand a relationship, rather than looking at who's dominant and who's timid, you have to look at who's afraid of what. because what runs a relationship isn't a person, but the thing that person runs from the most.
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