the device is too small!

ios 27

the fisherman of halicarnassus · 2026-06-10T11:20:52.736820-07:00

everybody's out here chewing on the same gum about apple falling behind in the ai race. the people who actually know what's going on explain the reason for this like they're spelling it out for a five-year-old, and yet we still see some folks who insist on not getting it. people! those chats you have with `gemini`, `chatgpt`, `claude`, `grok` are becoming folk songs on everyone's lips, becoming data passed hand to hand in targeted ads. when you go into gemini on your `samsung` phone and type "i can't get it up, what can i do," first the keyboard you typed it on is tracking you, then the samsung ai watching your screen is tracking you, and finally google is tracking you. then these three sit down at the big data coffeehouse and gossip behind your back about how you're impotent. meta hears this and comes running right over to you: "bro, i heard something, is it true? they're saying your little soldier won't stand at attention? don't worry man, look, there's this pill, you pop one and you're walking around rock hard for 24 hours," and it shoves the ad in your face everywhere. you swipe two stories and bam, "boner pill," you open the explore page and it's full-strength paste recipes, then you come over here and cry about "our phones are listening to us." apple, see, is trying to do all this ai stuff on the phone's own chip precisely so your honor, your pride, your reputation, your manly dignity and self-respect don't fall onto the tongue of every dog and jackal out there. where its power falls short, it works in the cloud through icloud, and it does that encrypted too. it can't use your data to improve the ai, it can only do what the phone's power allows. and since your 7-year-old iphone 11's chip obviously won't be enough to run that operation, it can't offer you that service. if you don't complain when your 7-year-old laptop can't run this year's game, then do me a favor, sweet brother, and don't go criticizing apple for stuff like this either. stop comparing siri to chatgpt and gemini like a bunch of cattle. these companies are firms that can pour all their human resources and unlimited billions of dollars into ai. apple, on the other hand, has a ton of products it needs to use its human resources on effectively. should this engineer develop the new os, or do ui, or focus on the watch, the phone, the computer, the vr headset, the earbuds, the smart tv, all kinds of products, or should they develop ai? what apple is actually telling you, crystal clear, is this: i'm not an ai company, my job is to develop the tech devices you use day to day and to create smart assistants for you while protecting your privacy. and in doing that, to build an ai voice-command assistant whose whole world is you, that exists inside your device, that doesn't open up your private business to anyone, maybe a little more limited than its rivals but able to handle a big chunk of your daily tasks. my worry is that apple gets so fed up with the criticism from thick-headed folks like you that it finally says "screw you and your privacy too, forget it" and crosses over to the dark side and plasters everything you've got for the whole world to see. then i'll get to see the diameter of you people's asses that use chatgpt like a therapist. on that note, if any of you haven't watched it, i recommend watching every one of its films. a cloud-based ai will always be better than an on-device ai, because at that very moment that little tramp is talking to millions of people besides you at the same time. just like someone who's flirted with, slept with, and gotten up next to a whole lot of people gets experienced at giving you a good time in conversation and in bed, this slippery ai gets experienced the same way, talking to billions of people all at once. your siri, meanwhile, is a virgin who opened her eyes to the world with you and has only ever seen everything in you. she's not great at this kind of thing, but she doesn't sully your honor either. you all probably aren't aware of how serious the data these devices like phones, computers, and vr headsets collect about your life really is. processing this data on open servers means even information that could ruin your life ends up doing manual labor out in the streets. "object removal in photos works really well on samsung" yeah, because samsung uploads that photo to google's servers, edits it there with gemini, and sends it back to you. and meanwhile gemini is even keeping a record of what kinds of objects you delete from your photos. say you removed your ex from a photo? it dumps dating apps in front of you as ads, on instagram it pours out reels with messages like "time to break up with your partner," "you should be heartbroken," "show the ones who don't appreciate your worth their place." and don't even ask how it knew the person you removed from the photo was your partner. poor apple, meanwhile, is doing the best it can with the a19 chip inside the phone without disgracing you in front of everyone. yes, maybe it doesn't give results as amazing as gemini yet, but at least it respects your privacy. it doesn't even know what you deleted. the visual awareness feature introduced in this version, the ability to see what's on the screen, only just now arrived on iphones. yet androids have been spying on your screen for years. bottom line, if apple wanted to it could make the absolute king of that ai too, and yet in this day and age they're still chasing after things like protecting your privacy, stuff you don't even care about yourself. shrink your digital footprint, dear friends, support the services that don't record your digital footprint, that don't see it as data to be sold left and right. and then you wander around going "the things passing through my mind show up as ads in front of me."

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