cara

the kind of movie you can’t watch while eating chips or popcorn. the dialogue is so valuable that if even a single word gets lost under the rustling of a bag or any other noise, you end up rewinding because you’re convinced you missed something important. definitely one of the movies that affected me the most. hats off to everyone behind it.

--spoiler--
the idea is to remain in a state of constant departure while always arriving. it saves on introductions and goodbyes.
--spoiler--

i think i've been spending way too much time on instagram lately, because once again, after seeing some random instagram post, i somehow ended up thinking about manipulation.

does anyone else feel like we've been hearing that word way too much lately, or have i just been exposed to it more than usual? whether i'm reading posts online, taking advice from instagram psychologists, or sitting around talking about problems with friends, it's always the same words:

"manipulation, manipulative, manipulator."

actually, another one just came to mind: regulate. but i like that one. regulate yourself. regulate your emotions. struggle to regulate, but regulate anyway. i used it in a post a few months ago, got it out of my system, and i still think it sounds kind of cool.

anyway, back to manipulation.

whenever people talk about problems in relationships, this seems to be the word that comes up first. people have no problem accusing the other person of being manipulative, but in reality, nobody really knows who is what. i guess it has always been like this. maybe we just didn't call everything manipulation before. or maybe we did and i was completely clueless.

i've used the word myself plenty of times, of course. and i haven't just used it casually in a sentence either. i've definitely labeled people as manipulators before. the funny part is that i've also been accused of being manipulative myself. so good luck figuring out who's actually right.

and apparently these manipulative assholes are everywhere. the sneaky ones, the calculating ones, everyone has their own little game going. you've got people messing with your head under the excuse of "i'm only doing this for your own good." people who look perfectly well intentioned. people who have practically written the textbook on playing the victim. people who twist your words, interrupt you, reshape everything you say, and somehow make it work in their favor. then there are the ones who look you straight in the eye and somehow make reality do a backflip.

every flavor is represented. sweet lies, ugly lies, white lies, colorful lies, tactics, labels, psychological terms. whatever you're looking for, apparently it's all here.

1- breaking bad
2- the sopranos
3- mad men
4- game of thrones
5- six feet under

it's one of those brutal truths about human relationships that almost never fails: you can usually tell how someone feels about you by the quality of the time they give you and the number of excuses they make.

the first sign is that every conversation starts feeling like a one-sided tennis match. you're always the one reaching out, asking questions, trying to keep the conversation alive, while their replies never go beyond "yeah," "uh-huh," "cool," or "that's nice." every response is a dead end. they don't ask about your life, your thoughts, or how you're doing, because, simply put, they're not interested.

the second—and probably biggest—sign is the classic excuse: "i've just been so busy." more often than not, what that really means is, "i don't have time for you." people naturally make time for what matters to them. even the busiest person can usually find ten minutes for someone they genuinely care about. if you're always at the bottom of their priority list and every plan gets postponed or canceled, the message is usually pretty clear.

kissing a baby's big toe sticking out of a torn sock.

freedom and breath.

taking photos.

if we're going to think in terms of a single trait, i'd say clarity. man or woman, no difference, i love a clear person. because clarity brings naturalness, honesty, transparency, sincerity, humility, empathy, and genuineness along with it. just as a clear person won't bother with empty matters, in their relationships there's no inconsistency, scheming, or indecision either. a clear person is plain, simple, and natural. they're a genuine person, free of affected behavior and staged emotions.

apart from beverly hills and santa monica, a place with a lot of traffic and pretty bad.

no doubt, the human being is a finite creature, and their freedom is limited. this is not freedom from conditions, but the freedom to take a stand toward conditions. in the final analysis, the human being is a self-determining creature. a person does not simply exist; instead, they always decide the fate of their existence, what they will be in the next moment. one of the fundamental characteristics of human existence is the capacity to rise above conditions and grow beyond them. the human being has the capacity, whenever it is possible, to change the world and, when necessary, themselves for the better. yet freedom is not the last word. freedom is only part of the story and half the truth. freedom is nothing but the negative side of a phenomenon whose positive side is responsibility. in fact, unless it is lived in terms of responsibility, freedom is in danger of degenerating.

man's search for meaning, viktor frankl

gen z humor is a type of comedy that's intentionally weird, random, and sometimes makes almost no sense. instead of telling a normal joke with a setup and punchline, it leans into absurdity, irony, exaggeration, and internet culture. the joke is often that everyone acts like something completely ridiculous is perfectly normal.

example:

friend: "did you finish the assignment?"

you: "no, but the assignment finished me."

or:

teacher: "any questions before the test?"

student: "yeah... why is my gpa built like a crypto portfolio?"

or:

me: "i'm going to bed early tonight."

also me at 2:47 a.m.: watching a raccoon steal a costco-sized bag of dog food and thinking, "bro is on a side quest."

the easiest way to understand gen z humor is this: imagine your brain has 47 browser tabs open, one is playing music, two are frozen, and you have no idea where the sound is coming from. somehow, that's the joke.

the general rule of the universe is that, over time, everything wants to reach minimum energy and maximum disorder.

(see: entropy)

since it's a universal show, they were forced to shoot a final season in keeping with the fundamental rule of the universe. game of thrones isn't just a show, it's a work of natural art, in my opinion. like a lake, like a mountain, like a waterfall.

one of my favorite films, maybe even my favorite. for years i wondered why i loved it this much. i think the answer lies in its ability to touch on some fundamental points in human psychology all at once.

a sprawling city with a gorgeous skyline. home to little new york, the strip, and many beautiful shopping centers. very, very hot... image

he loved her like the sea loved the stars. from afar; and from her perspective, quietly. reflective and beautiful, a silent ballet of ripples and smiling patterns scattered across the waves.

from his, it was a roaring and chaotic love. constantly moving, and always full. swells and crashes of emotion when he would see her. he'd hide from her behind the clouds and feel his storm inside him, and when the clouds would clear, and the waves would fall back, he would peek through the clouds and see her again, calm and beautiful as ever.

and then when the sea was still, each star reflecting perfectly on its surface, sometimes she would smile back. the twinkle of a star flitting across the sky. a wink that said "i love you too."

but they would never touch.