it's definitely not telling their spouse, don't worry, not out of any dishonor. things turn around in such a way that (depending on the gender of the one telling) if you're a woman your name turns into the whore trying to break them up, and if you are a man into the dishonorable bastard who "slandered an honorable woman's honor." with some of the people being cheated on there's a peculiar kind of foolishness, not stupidity, they believe so much that their partner wouldn't do it that without seeing it firsthand or having concrete evidence, they won't let a speck of dust settle on them.
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years ago i witnessed a man cheating on his wife, and what's more, he was telling everyone about it shamelessly, without an ounce of embarrassment, laughing his head off. i couldn't sleep for nights, ate myself up over it thinking this is just too much, and if i'd seen his wife i'd have told her purely because of this brazenness. about a year later or so i heard that this idiot of ours got caught by his wife with someone else. by the way, they're still married...
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whoever comes between a husband and wife ends up the bad guy, i witnessed the truth of this saying firsthand. a couple i know closely, the man is cheating on his wife with a woman from his workplace, i know about it, lots of people know about it, and someone told the wife about the situation. at first the woman said i'm getting divorced, it's over, then three days later they made up, and the person who told her became the jealous one, the one wanting to destroy their home, the worst person in the world.
