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keeping silent sometimes looks like broken glass pieces! they fill your mouth. if you remain silent, they hurt you; if you speak, they make you bleed…

oguz atay

one of the greatest –nobel prize winner– american authors. his letter to his son on love is as fascinating as his novels.

--spoiler--
...and don't worry about losing. if it is right, it happens — the main thing is not to hurry. nothing good gets away.
--spoiler--

dear thom:

we had your letter this morning. i will answer it from my point of view and of course elaine will from hers.

first — if you are in love — that's a good thing — that's about the best thing that can happen to anyone. don't let anyone make it small or light to you.

second — there are several kinds of love. one is a selfish, mean, grasping, egotistical thing which uses love for self-importance. this is the ugly and crippling kind. the other is an outpouring of everything good in you — of kindness and consideration and respect — not only the social respect of manners but the greater respect which is recognition of another person as unique and valuable. the first kind can make you sick and small and weak but the second can release in you strength, and courage and goodness and even wisdom you didn't know you had.

you say this is not puppy love. if you feel so deeply — of course it isn't puppy love.

but i don't think you were asking me what you feel. you know better than anyone. what you wanted me to help you with is what to do about it — and that i can tell you.

glory in it for one thing and be very glad and grateful for it.

the object of love is the best and most beautiful. try to live up to it.

if you love someone — there is no possible harm in saying so — only you must remember that some people are very shy and sometimes the saying must take that shyness into consideration.

girls have a way of knowing or feeling what you feel, but they usually like to hear it also.

it sometimes happens that what you feel is not returned for one reason or another — but that does not make your feeling less valuable and good.

lastly, i know your feeling because i have it and i'm glad you have it.

we will be glad to meet susan. she will be very welcome. but elaine will make all such arrangements because that is her province and she will be very glad to. she knows about love too and maybe she can give you more help than i can.

and don't worry about losing. if it is right, it happens — the main thing is not to hurry. nothing good gets away.

love,

fa

even the worst outcome is better than uncertainty.

what a pity that i am not ten years older, then old age would protect me from rebellion; or ten years younger, since then nothing would matter.

"a clumsy and easily frightened animal. some can even be the size of a human being. in fact, at first glance, they even look like humans. the grip of his claws is weak. he is incapable of climbing hills, and comes down a slope by sliding (frequently falling as he does so). he has almost no hair on his body; he has large eyes but weak sight, which is why he cannot see danger from a distance."

(see: the disconnected)

the pain of losing something precious – be it happiness or material wealth – can be forgotten over time. but our missed opportunities never leave us, and every time they come back to haunt us, we ache. or perhaps what haunts us is that nagging thought that things might have turned out differently. because without that thought, we would put it down to fate and accept it.

sabahattin ali